Tories Announce Controversial Plan to Bring Back Outside Toilets for Non-Privately Educated

Posted on May 26, 2024

In a move that has left many Britons scratching their heads and reaching for their winter coats, the Conservative Party has announced a new policy aimed at reintroducing outdoor toilets for those who didn't attend private schools. Traditional Values The policy, heralded as a return to "traditional British values," aims to instill a sense of character and self-reliance by requiring non-privately educated citizens to use outdoor lavatories. ...

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Sunak Prepares for Defeat as Labour Work Out How they Can Cock it Up!

Posted on May 23, 2024

If he weren’t so soulless, it would have been hard not to feel for Rishi Sunak yesterday. As the rain cascaded down on his £10,000 suit and "Things Can Only Get Better" drifted through the cold May air, a tiny part of his brain that isn’t filled with complex derivatives must have been screaming, “RUN, RISHI, RUN!” Back inside Number 10, you could almost see the panic in your mind’s eye.“Quick guys, get a brolly!” “Christ ...

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Sunak Vows to Smash the Bogeymen

Posted on May 15, 2024

Prime Minister Rishi Sunak delivered a keynote speech claiming he has a vision for ridding Britain of ghosts, ghouls, and bogeymen. Sunak asserts that while the Conservatives have a plan to ‘Stop the Ghosts,’ Labour simply wants them to have their way. “While Labour simply opens our borders to any ghosts and ghouls, we will tackle them head-on. We will vanquish the ghosts and banish the bogeymen by putting them on flights back to the ...

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Chaos as Labour Welcome Liz Truss

Posted on May 9, 2024

There was a political earthquake last night when former Prime Minister Liz Truss crossed the floor to join Labour. In a move that caused chaos and confusion among MPs, Truss stumbled across the floor, shouting, “pork markets…cheese…that…is…a…disgrace!” How to Save the West Handout Truss then made her way through the Labour benches, handing out copies of her book, 'How to Save the West,' as a bizarre spectacle unfolded, with ...

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Cancel Culture – What is It?

Posted on April 23, 2024

Accountability - It’s Nothing New I find it somewhat bizarre how people act like holding others accountable is some sort revolutionary concept that has just been invented. The last time I looked, throughout history, we've always had ways of calling out bad behaviour haven’t we? Whether it's boycotts or public outcry, accountability isn't exactly a 21st century invention for snowflakes. It's just got itself a catchy upgrade on social ...

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