A View From the Chez Lounge: A Win, A Wobble, and a Lot of Whacks!

Posted on June 17, 2024

Well, folks, here we are, another tournament, another opening day win for England. Any victory on day one is a godsend in tournament football—lose or draw and the pressure mounts faster than a summer storm in Blighty. With every armchair pundit and their dog dissecting every move on social media, you can almost hear the nation's collective anxiety levels rise. Remarkably, this is only England’s second ever opening win at the Euros, so let's ...

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The Euros – Time to be a Chaise Lounge Supporter Again.

Posted on June 11, 2024

So, it’s another year and another tournament for England to embark on in their quest to end what is now approaching sixty years of hurt. Still, it’s never stopped us believing, apparently. Some are even saying it’s coming home this time. A statement that makes me feel more nauseous with every passing tournament. Attacking Options vs. Defensive Wobbles Can England finally do it in Germany? Is their abundance of attacking options ...

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Tories Plan to Resurrect Austin Maxi to Woo Voters

Posted on May 28, 2024

In a move that has left car enthusiasts scratching their heads and political analysts wondering if their teas has been spiked, the Conservative Party has announced a bold new plan to win over voters: resurrecting the Austin Maxi. Yes, you did read that right—the quintessentially British, boxy beast of the 1970s and early 80s is set to make a sensational comeback. Bewildered Press Conference Standing proudly in front of a fully restored ...

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Climate Change – Are Longer Wet Spells a Certainty?

Posted on May 27, 2024

Will Climate Change Cause Prolonged Wet Spells in the UK? Climate change and its effects are hot topics these days, and as a weather tragic, one question that's been on my mind is whether it will really (as recently suggested) lead to prolonged wet spells in the UK. Living here, we're used to unpredictable weather – it’s almost a national pastime to complain about it – but could climate change make things even wetter? I’m not an ...

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Tories Announce Controversial Plan to Bring Back Outside Toilets for Non-Privately Educated

Posted on May 26, 2024

In a move that has left many Britons scratching their heads and reaching for their winter coats, the Conservative Party has announced a new policy aimed at reintroducing outdoor toilets for those who didn't attend private schools. Traditional Values The policy, heralded as a return to "traditional British values," aims to instill a sense of character and self-reliance by requiring non-privately educated citizens to use outdoor lavatories. ...

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