It’s been over twenty years since Britain marched into Iraq, led by Tony Blair’s messianic gleam and a now legendary claim that Saddam Hussein could launch WMDs before your kettle finished boiling. The fallout — chaos, death, lies, and the slow-motion collapse of a region — turned Blair into the go-to bogeyman of British foreign policy.

He’s been called a liar, a warmonger, and a war criminal — by the left, the centre-right, the hard right, and your mate from the AWE who still posts blurry photos of when he anti-war protests in 2003.

But now, in 2025? It seems Blair’s “illegal war” playbook has become the gold standard. Everyone’s using it — from the powdered benches of the Conservative Party to the hollow centrism of Keir Starmer’s Labour.

New Bombs, Same Rationale

Here’s the simple plot: The United States, under whatever version of Donald Trump is currently operating, launches attacks on alleged Iranian nuclear sites. Israel helps or encourages or just does it themselves. The UK? Quietly nodding along, happy to be included in Pete Hegseth’s WhatsApp group.

No UN resolution. No hard evidence shown to the public. No concern about legality. Just the usual vague mutterings about “capabilities,” “threats,” and “deterrence.” If it all sounds familiar, that’s because it is — it’s Iraq with a fresh lick of paint and a TikTok account.

The right-wing press love it. Tory MPs talk about “security” with that gleam they usually reserve for high class knocking shops, horse stables and palatial second homes. But the truly baffling bit is watching Starmer’s Labour — the same party that once wept over Chilcot — now clapping along like it’s karaoke night at conference week.

From “Bliar!” to “Let’s Be Serious About Bombing”

Remember when the entire centre-right couldn’t finish a sentence without referencing Blair’s “illegal war”? When every Lib Dem candidate from 2005 to 2015 ran on a platform of “we said no to Iraq”? When the conservative press said Blair had “blood on his hands”?

Well, now they’ve got their own version of Blair, only with less charm and worse speeches. And this time, it’s not illegal — it’s “a proportionate defensive response.”

It’s a good thing hypocrisy isn’t a war crime, or the entire Cabinet would be hiding somewhere in a South American embassy by now.

And If You Object? You’re a Traitor, Obviously

Of course, a few voices do speak ou, Clive Lewis being one, and let’s not forget The Daily Mail’s favourite traitor ‘Whoa Jer-em-eee Corbyn”. Those brave (or just incredibly naive) souls who point out that bombing a sovereign nation without evidence or legal basis tends to make things worse, not better.

And what happens to them?

They’re called “anti-Semitic,” “terrorist sympathisers,” “apologists,” “traitors,” and — in one charming Mail column — people who should be “deported to Tehran.”

Deported for what. For having the audacity to think international law should apply even when we do the bombing? Tax dodging and offshore accounting is the real way to show your patriotism, not questioning attacks on a sovereign country based on fairytale. Bastards.

The logic is simple: if you oppose chaos, you must secretly love the people causing it. It’s the same moral logic that got us to Iraq in the first place, just with slightly better PR and more Twitter bots.

Keir Starmer: From Human Rights Lawyer to Legalised Airstrikes Enthusiast

Once upon a time, Starmer was a human rights lawyer. Don’t laugh, he was, honestly, look it up. Now he’s so desperate not to look like Jeremy Corbyn that he’s decided to cosplay as David Cameron with better hair. He’ll back almost anything with an RAF logo on it — as long as it means no one calls him “soft.” He’s hard he is. He even rolls his sleeves up and stuff.

It’s like watching someone burn down their childhood home just to prove they’re not still living in it.

Conclusion: It Was Never About the War — Just Who Was Waging It

So here we are. Bombs fall. Civilians die. Politicians beam from podiums and talk about “tough decisions” while sipping bottled water, looking serious and dodging questions where they may have to confront the truth.

And the lesson we were meant to learn from Iraq? That lies, arrogance, and foreign policy cosplay lead to death and instability in an already unstable region?

Apparently, we didn’t need that lesson after all. We just needed someone else to do it. Because when Tony Blair did it, it was “a war crime.”

But when Trump, Netanyahu, or Starmer do it? It’s just good policy.

And if you think otherwise, pack your bags. You’re off to Tehran mate.