Scientists and historians love to debate the great mysteries of human civilisation: how the pyramids were built, what Stonehenge was really for, who first ate a carrot, and why we still haven’t learned how to fold a fitted sheet. But perhaps the most important question of all is this: how on earth did humans and dogs first become best friends?

Scene One: The First Stare-Off

Around 20,000 years ago, give or take a few centuries a pack of wolves started sniffing around human camps. Imagine the scene: humans in furs, crouched around a fire, chewing on charred mammoth ribs and grunting to each other about putting a conservatory on the cave to create a dining area. Out of the shadows creeps a wolf, eyes gleaming, drool dripping from its mouth like a modern day Red Setter.

Both sides freeze. The humans think, “Fuck…that wolf’s about to eat me.” The wolf thinks, “That human looks a bit chewy to be fair but I also reckon he might be clumsy enough to drop food.” The standoff could have ended in bloodshed, but then history is made. someone tosses the wolf a bone.

The wolf sniffs the bone, snatches it, and slinks away. Then comes back. Same bone-tossing, same result. Slowly the humans think, “Hang on, if we keep this fucker fed, it might stop trying to eat us.” And the wolf realises, “These upright apes are basically a free Deliveroo service.”

The Mutual Agreement

So an unspoken deal is struck:

The wolves provide early warning burglar alarms, extra muscle for hunting, and moral support during long, awkward cave silences. Humans provide fire, shelter, scraps of food, and endless sticks for no obvious reason.

It was the greatest barter system in history, better than gold, Bitcoin, or swapping Panini football stickers.

From Wolf to Wag

Over time, wolves that hung out with humans stopped being quite so wolfy. Less “fangs of doom,” more “furry hot water bottles.” They learned that sitting near the fire meant food, tilting their heads got them sympathy, and rolling over meant those oh so wonderful belly rubs. Humans, in turn, discovered that life was easier (and often funnier) with a loyal four-legged companion by their side.

Fast-forward a few thousand years, and the descendants of those wolves are now wearing tartan jumpers, answering to names like Bertie and are somehow getting better healthcare than most human’s who, in turn, are regularly conned out of their children’s inheritance in return for a removed claw nail.

And the Love Story Continues…

The partnership has had its ups and downs, of course. Dogs don’t always understand why humans insist on bathing them. Humans don’t always appreciate dogs eating the sofa and doing laps of the house when the doorbell rings. But the bond remains unshakeable: they protect us, comfort us, and remind us to be endlessly excited about the little things, like a walk to the park or the sound of a crisp packet opening.

So the next time your dog steals your sandwich or drags you outside in the rain, just remember: this whole relationship started when a hungry wolf thought, “What’s the worst that could happen if I trust this caveman?” And 20,000 years later, we’re still honouring the deal—with belly rubs and artisan biscuits that cost about the same amount as a sirloin steak.

The pleasure is all ours…most of the time.