Donald Trump’s much-trumpeted Middle East peace deal is, we are told, “historic.” You’d think from the way it was announced that he’d just solved the riddle of the Sphinx and invented world harmony before lunch. In reality, it was more of a rough sketch than a plan – the kind of thing you might draw on a fag packet after your fifth pint of Old Thumper with Mad Mick down at The Red Lion.

Polite Clap

To be fair, any attempt to bring peace to the Middle East deserves at least a polite clap. It’s not exactly an easy gig. But once you look past the flag-waving and the grandiose titles, you realise the whole thing is riddled with vagueness and in the words of Jeremy Bowen, devoid of content. It’s as if the Trump team got halfway through writing it and thought, “Ah, details, that’s boring, man. Let’s just call it visionary.”

The plan is supposed to tackle the decades-long Israel–Palestine conflict, but it dodged the awkward bits. You know, borders, refugees, Jerusalem, all avoided with the grace of a Wetherspoons regular walking in to A&E. Instead, it leaned heavily on the idea that throwing some money at the problem might make it all go away. “Here, have some investment, stop arguing.” As if peace could be bought with a few billion dollars and a ribbon-cutting ceremony. That’s vintage Trump, that is. Money can solve anything.

Trump Being Trump

And of course, Trump being Trump, once the deal was announced, the job was done. Another “historic” triumph ticked off the list. He now moves on to the next headline, ready to take full credit if it somehow worked, and equally ready to blame someone else if it didn’t. In this case, the Palestinians will be cast in the familiar role of scapegoat. The awkward guests who “ruined the party” by not being thrilled about a deal that isn’t exactly backing independence.

The problem maybe wasn’t bad intent so much as bad substance but I doubt it. Looked at in more detail, the deal has all the structure of candy floss: big, fluffy, and gone the moment you bite into it. Real peace takes clarity, compromise, and trust, not the confused slogans and self-congratulation Trump excels in.

So yes, Trump’s peace plan is “historic” in a way. Just not for the reasons he might hope for, if he is even that bothered. History is full of big ideas that went nowhere and this one, unless someone adds some actual detail to it, looks destined to join them in the dusty drawer marked “Nice Try’.