How Brexit Took Me Back to 2001!

Posted on September 12, 2019

When I was watching the news last night, there were pictures of a Brexit rally that took me right back to Britain, the 2001 version.

It was September, and I had taken my two kids down to a static caravan park in Swanage, Dorset. They would have been 3 and 5.

When we parked up next to our luxury holiday home, the chap in the caravan next to us, introduced himself. He was an odd chap, about 60 years old with a heavily stained Southampton shirt and dubious looking nylon slacks.

He had a Robin Reliant car. He informed me that he and his wife came from Totton (Southampton) to Swanage for two weeks every year. Oddly, whilst I can remember him clearly, my mind’s eye can’t picture his wife.

Anyway, he seemed harmless enough.

The next morning, we were awoken at just after dawn by a semi-frantic knock at our door. It was him. From here on I am going to call him Percy as I can’t remember his name. Percy just seems right.

What on earth could Percy want that I would need to know?

Did I have a puncture?

Were my kids too noisy?

Had he just found out he had been asked to lead a scout trip to Bodmin Moor?

The Fuel Strike!

It was none of the above. Percy had come to inform us that he had bad news. The Isle of Purbeck had run out of petrol after panic buying during the fuel strike!

To make an already bizarre situation even stranger, he appeared to be really excited about it. He proceeded to tell us his three-wheeler did 70 odd miles to the gallon and that he was happy to take us to the shops. If we stuck together, it wouldn’t be a problem.

I thanked him but declined his offer. He then went off around all the other caravans offering his assistance. When we popped in the bar later that evening, he was there again, offering his services to all and sundry. It turned out he had already been to the Co-Op as the bar had run out of lemonade.

I remember saying to my ex-wife, “Bless him, this is his own little Dunkirk, he’s loving it”.

Farage’s Troops

When I saw all those wonky old folks at that Farage rally, it dawned on me that Brexit is their Dunkirk. That’s why they keep harping on about how we got through the war as if it has even a tenuous link to Brexit.

They want a ‘No Deal’ crisis so they can tell their own tales of having to drive to Felixstowe to get their beta blockers. That Farage rally was full of Percy’s desperate for their day in the Brexit spotlight. If they got really lucky, they might get their picture in The Sun with “YOU RUDDY MARVELS!” written under it.

We now know that Leave donors have been making millions from economic chaos caused by Brexit. We now know that Operation Yellowhammer was published on the 2nd August and wasn’t the old document it was claimed to be. We now know that the EU introduced an anti-tax avoidance legislation in January this year. We now know that essential public services are likely to be opened up in a US Trade Deal and we now know that people like Dominic Raab and Pritti Patel want to slash workers and civil rights.

That doesn’t matter to these Brexit evangelists. They would saw their own genitals off if it meant getting their way. They are that obsessed with it, the threat of the bubonic plague wouldn’t sway them.

Those in parliament opposing Brexit and trying to get a deal that is bordering on sensible, or even revoking A50, need to wake up and realise these clowns are not for turning. They are the type that say smoking 40 Marlborough a day is actually good for you and that global warming doesn’t exist. Frank down at The Red Lion, said so.

Modern conservatives, liberals and socialists need to wake up fast. They need to give up on the type of idiots who go to Farage gigs. They need to concentrate their efforts and form a coalition. They need to ensure that 30% of the electorate don’t turn this country into a standing joke.

It is obvious that Johnson and Cummings are banking on winning an election by turning people against parliament. The idea is Johnson, the people’s man, versus Parliament. It will strengthen the will of the already converted. However, he is not likely to attract anyone to his cause and get a majority government.

He and those funding him won’t go easy; they have millions at stake. It is down to moderates to stand up and see him and his mob of tax dodgers and disaster capitalists off.

I guess we will know the outcome of this very British self-flagellation drama soon.

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