New Computer

Posted on January 21, 2011

I have bought a new laptop this week from Dell (not the one from Only Fools and Horses). Ooh it’s lovely, it’s called a Vostro 1015 all sleek and black and with lots of new gadgets such as Windows 7 plus an Intel Celeron inside, whatever that means. It is also Energy efficient with a 15.6″ display, flexible connectivity, excellent battery life (how long is excellent?) integrated graphics and a 5-in-1 Media card reader. I have also had installed Microsoft Office 2007. Are you reeling with envy yet?

I find the best thing about new computers is endless hours of pleasure to be had moving over files and contacts as well as reinstalling Blackberry’s and Itunes and setting up the new Outlook mail settings. Itunes has been my personal favourite this time, pipping the Blackberry in to second place. Be warned that if you have downloaded discs on to Itunes without saving them on a hard drive, you will never see them again as Itunes will only recognise what you have actually purchased on line from their store. You can also say goodbye to any of your playlists that you have painstakingly put together over the years. Put in layman’s terms, transferring Itunes music is a fucker of a job that made me wish I still had some hair to pull out. I am sure there is some better way of doing this, but every time I looked on Internet forums about moving Itunes I felt a twitching of my right hand that is synonymous with something getting broken.
The Dell Vostro 1015: What a Beauty

 A bit like when I get a new car, I have vowed not to mess this laptop up so I have banned eating, drinking near it and I have told my children that it is mine and that they will have to satisfy themselves with their own equipment as they are now banned. It is only to be used for my own work purposes and I will not open any emails that feature bad language, Youtube videos, or any jokes and pictures containing anything of a pornographic nature. I have had enough of wiping down dirty keyboards and running spyware checkers to rid myself of illicit websites containing filthy jokes and links to seedy and frankly disgusting sites of a lurid nature. The Internet was designed for professional purposes, not for deprivation.

Right, now I have got my point across I would like to bid you all a good weekend……………oooh hello…..a new email………….. oh my God you have to see this………it is a woman with enormous breasts, they must be plastic……anyway, there is a donkey behind her and it says “Donkey ride with a difference” you should see it I will forward it on, I was so shocked I spat tea and biscuits all over my keyboard!!

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