Wet Wet Wet
Posted on July 17, 2011
If you are someone who has just Googled in attempt to find some rather amusing stories about what happened to Glasgow’s eighties soul popsters Wet Wet Wet, you are about to be disappointed. The basis of this particular Blog is not about how the Wet’s released a cover version of “Love is all Around” and in the process made an ageing Andover based rock star and crop circle obsessive an unlikely millionaire in the summer of 1994, and it is not about how this forgotten song by The Troggs was covered for the theme of an English movie (Four Weddings and a Funeral) and consequently sold 1.2 million copies and spent 15 weeks at number one in the charts.
This Blog of course, is about how wet and horrible the weather is, my weekend has been decimated with a hat trick of cricket matches cancelled and to make matters worse the Colts game that has been washed out, may lead to our U15’s missing out on a deserved league title. They need 4 points (the amount you get for a win) to win the league but a cancelled game only registers 2 points. If we can’t get the game played by the 25th July we will lose the League title by default, how sad is that? I am pulling out all stops to get the game played, but the forecast is so shocking during the comings days, then we have kids off on holidays so that could be it, the great British weather could scupper everything they have worked for. Losing the game and being runners up is still something to be proud of, not being able to have a go at winning the game is a cruel end to our season. Please don’t tell me not to get depressed about the weather, because I am.
Talking of great British weather, you may or may not have noticed that there is a new programme on the BBC called funnily enough, The Great British Weather. I was really looking forward to this show, thinking that they would have a collection of frizzy haired meteorologists explaining in detail pressure charts, the Jet stream and the reasons why over the last five years July and August have effectively been our monsoon season. What did we get? Chris Hollins (a sports presenter) Carol Kirkwood and some bloke who does the Pimms O’ Clock adverts and the odd stint on Have I Got News for You. It was cheesier than a pound of Stilton. This programme could have been so go good, but instead it was a patronising idiot’s guide to what most people over the age of five know already.
I used to find Chris Hollins pretty inoffensive, but the way he describes unattractive middle aged ladies as gorgeous and plays out mildly smutty gags with Carol Kirkwood had me reaching for the sick bucket. I’m not letting Carol Kirkwood get away with either, why does she insist on speaking as if she is telling a nursery rhyme to a three year old? Quite how Alexander Armstrong got on there is any one’s guess, did they draw his name out a hat or did he narrowly beat John Noakes at the audition? I find it really hard to get offensive towards Chris Hollins or indeed Carol Kirkwood, it’s not that they are total cunts in the mould of James Corden or Chris Moyles, but sadly, in this instance, I was bitterly disappointed by the quality and the poor presentation of what was a very good concept, it was so awful it should have been on ITV.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, it actually got funny as they wheeled out Michael Fish to offer his annual explanation of how he got the 1987 hurricane forecast so wrong. Sporting a big round head featuring eyes, nose and mouth regions that appear to be shrinking, Fish resembles a character out of Toy Story, but his explanation remains the same. It was in fact, all Bill Giles’ fault. There can’t be a lot of love lost between these two BBC weather Godfathers, but at what point Michael Fish thought it was a good idea to blame Bill Giles I just don’t know. Maybe we all misheard him, perhaps what he actually said was this; “Earlier on today, apparently, a woman rung the BBC and said she heard there was a hurricane on the way… well, if you’re watching, don’t worry, there isn’t………Bill Giles told me.”
It may be worth watching next week as Bill Giles is the special guest, wouldn’t it be funny if he let all his pent up emotions pour out live on air by calling Michael Fish a lying cunt. It would be worth it just to see the shocked face of Carol Kirkwood. “Oh err um gosh….over to you Chris.”