Turkeys Expected to Vote for Christmas Landslide!

Posted on April 21, 2017

Latest polls from the Bernard Matthews estate in Norfolk suggest overwhelming support for a vote for Christmas this year.

Despite overwhelming evidence that Christmas will take place, the majority of turkeys have been convinced by a campaign in Poultry Bugle that a vote for leader, Rupert Murdacre, is in their best interests.

Meanwhile, a small campaign group of turkeys at the farm who claim that Turkey’s voting for Christmas is the equivalent of working class humans voting for a Conservative government, have been subject to a ferocious media campaign to discredit them.


Non – Christmas turkeys have been subject to a ferocious smear campaign

Latest polls are suggesting that 80% of turkeys are likely to vote for Christmas, with just 10% saying they were likely to vote against it through fear of being slaughtered in early December.

Rupert Murdacre dismissed the rebel turkeys as traitors and enemies of the estate, claiming that immigrant turkeys accepting a lower volume of seed were threatening the existence of the farm.

“Our battery farms are full up, there is no room…I’m not racist, BUT…..”  said Murdacre

Next week: Our reporter goes to the North East of England where long time Labour supporters explain why they will be voting Conservative.

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