Brexit With a Cricket Club Analogy

Posted on July 20, 2018

What I can’t help noticing lately is how many people assume that a Brexit deal with our European neighbours should be easily solved by simply telling the EU countries what we want, and they can either lump it or like it.

There is a theory that they need us just as much, if not more, than we need them, so as someone leaving the club, we should dictate the situation to Johnny Foreigner or else.

The government is split (Labour appear no better by the way) with those on the far right salivating at the prospect of deregulation whilst those in the centre (Remainers essentially) are trying to see if we can fudge a deal that our former partners will find satisfactory.

That is where the problem lies and where my attempt at a cricket club analogy comes in.

I am chairman of a local cricket club. To join and play for that cricket club members must pay £70.00 a year and £10.00 subscriptions for each game they play. To round things up, this amounts to about £200 a year that goes towards the cost of running the club.

The benefits of the club include a cheap bar and facilities that are constantly being upgraded, allowing members to practice when they want and use the bar for functions free of charge. For example, one of the players is having a pre-wedding party there this Saturday.

However, there are other less attractive aspects to being part of the club and these include voluntary ground preparation and maintenance of the facilities. Overall though, the upsides outweigh the downsides and apart from the odd petty squabble over minor issues, it is generally a harmonious place. If you are part of club, there are always rules that need changing and you will never satisfy everyone, so some ‘give and take’ obviously comes into it.

However, imagine how that harmony would be affected if one member said that he wanted to leave the club because he didn’t like the maintenance tasks as well as the £70.00 membership and £10.00 subscription fees. He would however, still like to play at a reduced cost without being involved in pre-match pitch preparation or any other club duties.

Imagine if he said that we would still benefit because he is a very good player, but he thought the £200.00 he spent at the club each year would be better invested on a nice new bat for himself. It would be a good deal he was offering as we needed him more than he needed us. To prove a point, he could hire a red bus, exaggerate a bit on what he pays into the club and write ‘£400 A YEAR FOR A NEW BAT’ on the side of it.

I’ll tell you what would happen shall I? We would sit down as committee and decide the best process of action would be to tell him to fuck off.

That is because, no matter how good someone is, if you give them a favourable deal compared to all other club members, everyone else will want to know why they haven’t had such preferential treatment and they will leave, creating a domino effect that leaves the club facing oblivion.

Once the individual has left the club without a deal, he knows another club will take him because he is a good player. However, because of the way he has treated his last club, he is toxic and much to his surprise, not as popular as he thought he was and he must grovel to prospective new clubs.

Ultimately, he will wish he hadn’t been such a twat in the first place, but he will never admit it.

That’s why Brexit is a disaster stuck between a rock and a hard place with not even the brightest brains in the world able to come up with a solution. Theresa May has been advised by every economic think tank known to man that to have ‘No Deal’ will be catastrophic. Within the EU, they know damn well that even if they wanted to give the UK a ‘have your cake and eat it’ deal, it would cause carnage amongst the existing member states.

So, the situation is to fudge a deal that ALL the existing members states must agree to or bailing out completely and heading into the kind of economic and geopolitical chaos that would only suit billionaires who would be the real and only winners of deregulation. I wish people could see that I really do. Offshore billionaires are running scared of new EU tax avoidance regulation which is why media barons are so aggressive towards promoting a hard Brexit where in effect, they will be free to do as they please.

Anyway, back to my attempt at a cricket club analogy. If the cricketer who left the club asked to come back, saying he had, in a moment of madness, thought he we were bigger than the club because he had got frustrated with some of the rules, we would have to consider whether it is in the best interests of the club for him to return.

The difference with the EU is that it is in the best interests to have a major trading partner back in the club, so there could be, with a good negotiator (not Theresa May for fuck’s sake) a way back in whilst saving face, but it would be a hell of a long way back.

What I find sad is that us British folk have been admired across the world for being a bit eccentric. Now we are being scowled at for being plain dumb and more than a bit racist.

It’s all a bit embarrassing but we are better than that and shouldn’t be undermined by UKIP, the EDL and MP’s linked to aggressive international tax corruption.

We should turn off ‘Love Island’ unify and take the fuckers to task.

Have a nice weekend, I will leave you with our Theresa trying to explain a customs and tariffs situation post-Brexit. Unless you are an absolute genius, I guarantee you, you won’t understand what on earth is going on.

Apologies in advance for promoting ‘The Daily Fascist’ YouTube page.

1 Reply to "Brexit With a Cricket Club Analogy"

  • Richard Pearce
    December 17, 2018 (9:38 am)

    Brexit Cricket Club ! This is an analogy that really works. Other analogies ie fitness clubs have been about individual benefits whereas this gets to the heart of benefits and contributions. Just wondering how the Irish backstop could fit in ?
    I googled brexit club analogy after a sleepless night over brexit last night where I worked through a fitness club analogy but yours is excellent. .

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