With a No Deal Brexit looking increasingly like an Austin Maxi shuddering towards the white cliffs of Dover, I am beginning to wonder if it can be stopped? Boris Johnson and his cabinet of retarded sycophants daren’t put the handbrake on through fear of reality, so on they must go.

However, with a one seat majority and enough Tories who hate Johnson and hate his de facto deputy (Dominic Cummings) even more, this has a long way to run. It could be that back bench Tories, shocked at the number of imbeciles and crooks in Johnson’s cabinet, bring the government down.

It is Cummings who is running the show. The cabinet has been put together by an interview process that I assume, goes along the lines of answering a basic question like this.

“Are you a grovelling sycophant who will do whatever it takes to further your career?”

“Yes”.

“Great, you’re in the cabinet”.

The Cabinet

I don’t like to pick on people individually but how on earth Liz Truss has become a front bench politician is beyond me? Inept is too kind a word for her; it is like she happened to be walking past Westminster one day and someone shouted, “Hey you over there…fancy becoming a politician?”

Dominic Raab and Matt Hancock run her close. I wonder what former formidable Tories like Ken Clarke and Michael Heseltine must think of them? I have to mention Jacob Rees-Mogg as well, but it is difficult to start with this weirdo who seemingly uses the Viz character ‘Victorian Dad’ as his role model. Perhaps he is there in an attempt to make Johnson look normal?

Led by a compulsive liar utilising his Christian name, buffoonery and a carefully dishevelled appearance, you wouldn’t think this collective hopelessness could survive. Yet, with Cummings refining the language of a bar stool racist to make a No Deal Brexit appear intellectually sound, Johnson could yet mug the people off.

Disunited Labour

This, chiefly, is because the Labour Party are the masters of loading their guns and blowing both feet off. They cannot unite. The left refuses to reach out to the centre and the centre refuses to reach out to the left. If Labour had chosen David Milliband or Andy Burnham, Cameron would have been trounced in 2015, but hey, they know best.

With Johnson only holding a one seat majority, an autumn election is now inevitable. The result of it will be chaos. It is likely that The Tories will be trounced in Scotland, but those seats are more likely to go to the SNP and Lib Dems than Labour. However, The Brexit Party could mop up in the disaffected former Labour industrial heartlands. How about that for irony?

This makes a Brexit/Tory coalition a reality. However, this may well result in centrist Tories defecting to the LIB Dems. We could then see a Lib Dem/Labour/SNP coalition but that will lead to defections too.

Where is This Heading?

I think I know where this is heading.

It will be a Johnson campaign inspired by Cummings. It will be basic, promising money to the NHS and the Police. It will be nostalgic, with old video reel of cricket on the green, real ales and golden summers. You may even see the white cliffs of Dover, with the opponents of Brexit spotting the irony of a cliff edge but little Englander’s lapping it up.

Not anywhere will you see a promise to keep workers rights, civil rights, environmental policy and rigorous food standards. Nowhere will you see a promise to halt deregulation of public services, leaving them open to the highest bidder. Not once will you hear that the government intends to copy, paste and implement the EU 2019 Tax Avoidance laws regarding offshore accounts in Panama or the Caymen Islands.

Why?

Because Johnson and his mob are funded by tax avoiders and deregulators who are sharpening their cutlery and can’t wait to get tucked into Britain’s public services. I would argue that this is not very patriotic.

The clever bit is that it is so obvious, to idiots, it looks like a conspiracy theory.