Lower Than A Snakes Belly

Posted on August 15, 2008

Today I am blogging from the confinement of my lonely room in a mobile home that is getting battered once again by persistent and heavy rain, my predictions from yesterday totally unfounded. I am most definitely not soaking up the sun with a cool beer in the company of nubile French ladies, and the chances of the Dutch tent being burnt down during the wettest 48 hours in Basque history are nil. In fact I took a look at our new home this morning and found that being French and artistically creative, the owners had designed a very impressive re-enactment of the Battle of The Somme in and around our new home. Trench foot is becoming a very real prospect, and just to add to the authenticity, we now have some rather impressively sized rats roaming the site. We even had the pleasure of one on our decking, which our young Irish neighbour Siaran thought was quite cute. Perhaps they have not heard of the bubonic plague in Sligo.

John and Heidi deserted ship this morning, (I was going to say like rats, but that is not the case here, as the rats are arriving on package deals from all over France) and I can’t say I blame them. This left me a bit hollow as they have been great allies on this holiday, John and I only had one tif lasting a few minutes this year (A record as we are both a bit fiery), and we will miss them all over the next few days. I actually feel a bit isolated and deflated if I am honest. In the evenings I will be very much relying on the adult company of Kieran and Mary our Irish neighbours, and fortunately the boys get on with their kids okay.

I have unwittingly become a bit of a hero of Kieran’s, as he believes that I have performed as a single parent in a manner that no man in Sligo would be capable of, as they generally still live in age where making a marmite sandwich would stretch a husband to the limits of his capabilities. Simple tasks such as making a cup of tea, using an iron or any other domestic appliance are completely beyond Sligo Man who is merely there to provide the income and the craik, whilst the woman still carries out the duties of a cooking, washing, and keeping the kids clean and smart.

I can honestly say that I have not struggled with this, and I think that whilst I may have been in a bit of disarray at times I have kept the kids clean, well fed, and well behaved, and but for my recent run of bad luck that was frankly out of my control, everything would have gone smoothly on this trip. Kevin even admitted to having a mixed feelings of hatred and admiration towards me yesterday as Mary marvelled at the way I filled a bin liner with washing, and took it to the local laundrette (Oi don’t even know what a fecking laundrette looks loik Bob!). Apparently, according to Mary, my basic domestic skills would make me a real hit with the women of Sligo!

Anyway, I am of to the internet place now with Harry to keep him amused for an hour and to see what Animal Sex emails I have received (Woman Sucking Horse Cock was the most recent little teaser!), then we are eating out with Mary and Kieran and co tonight before white water rafting out of the caravan to the quagmire that is our new home in the morning. Keeping the boys clean and tidy will become a major test of character then!!! “Harry could you come off YouTube for a minute…………………………..just out of interest I want to see the prices of flights to Sligo?”

Pics from the site and John and Heidi leaving for the last time.

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