Well folks, what a great couple of days I have had, my house has finally exchanged, and being as things have been a bit tight I thought I might try to do a few deals to save money. I have never really tried this before because.

1/ I used to be reasonably affluent
2/I am a lazy bastard
3/ I would rather play golf than spend a whole day ringing around attempting to save 20p a month electricity off my gas bill, or 15p gas off my electricity bill. All this before some frozen cold South African prick just of the plane knocks on my door and tries to revert me back to paying my electricity through my Gas company whilst he gives me a box which gives me free UK calls between Midnight and 6.00am

Anyway try I did, and I amazed myself. With my car insurance I got £50 knocked off plus a years free years breakdown cover by pretending Direct Line were cheaper (god knows if they were or not). Then to follow that, I managed to get free calls to any UK land line and a free HD box from Sky by simply saying I was going to Virgin. I was flying along, I must have made a net profit of £100 just by telling a few white lies. I was getting so good at this it was becoming enjoyable. Next stop my Solicitors who I owed £850.00.

“How about a deal if I pay a bit earlier?” I enquired. I might as well have said “Can I have unprotected anal sex with your Grandmother please?” I was slapped firmly back in place, not a penny off these lot.

And there is the evidence, we have had one of the biggest global economic disasters in history, and Solicitors can still charge what they fancy. Fair play to them, I am only jealous, I just wish I had worked harder at school so I could make a fortune out of others misfortune. Surely being a Divorce Lawyer is a bit depressing, or is it just a job to them, and a means to a rather prosperous end. I have often wandered what it must be like to get Divorced by a Divorce Lawyer, it must be pretty frightening. (note to ones self, do not marry a Divorce Lawyer, stick with the pharmacist she might not be as rich, but she can only drug you).

Now where was that gas bill……………………….