The People You Meet In Pubs!!!
Posted on January 3, 2010
Diane and I went for a few drinks in The Grey Hound in Broughton last night where we met the local Buffalo Farmer, Daegan and his friend Jaroslav (Pictured below) and what an interesting night it turned out to be!!!
Jaroslav is an artist who originates from Prague. He came to London as a visitor in 1968, during his 10 day visit, the Russian tanks rolled in to Prague, shut the borders, and Jaroslav never went back. In effect he escaped the Communist regime by being in the right place (London) at the right time.
It would be easy for him to tell stories of riding a BSA Motorcycle through a barbed wire fence under machine gun fire, or building his own hot air balloon to cross the border with, but he was happy to admit he just got lucky, and because Britain was still feeling a bit guilty about Chamberlain selling the Czechs down the river just before the second world war, Jaroslav was made welcome in London and set up a life in England as an Art Teacher and Sculptor. This in itself is a good story, but it was about to improve dramatically.
Jaroslav now lives in Notting Hill with his English wife and is now retired, though he still works part time sculpting his unique love of his life, and despite his 40 + years in the UK and complete grasp of English, he still has a slight accent. ” I like zee Engleesh zay are very friendly yesh”.
Anyway he was not very forthcoming about his work, and what it is he actually sculpts. However anyone who knows Diane when she is fuelled by a few glasses of Pinot Grigio, knows she wont give up easily. The conversation went like this.
D. “Oh so you still do some sculpting, what do you like doing?”
J. “I like to do my own favourite sculpting, it is my hobby, but I sell too”
D. “That’s good, so what do you do Horses, that sort of thing?”
J. “No, no, no, no”
D. What then peoples pets, cats…..dogs………….?”
J. “No, no, I don’t do animals”
D. “What do you do then?”
J. “CUNTS”
Temporary silence.
D. “Wh wh wh…..WHAT!!!!
J. “Women’s Cunts”
Apparently, my not easily shocked jaw smashed to the floor, which is hardly surprising considering he had come up with an answer of such magnitude. Shock was soon surpassed by laughter so uncontrollable that the other customers in the pub were becoming concerned about my welfare. Moments like that make life worthwhile, tears were streaming from my eyes.
Jaroslav wasn’t joking either, he had a whole career behind of studying, sculpting, painting, and selling vagina’s. He had sold one he made of cardboard for £1500 and has produced a 12 minute DVD on the subject. When Di, (remarkably more composed than me) asked him if he was in fact a Pornographer, he put her firmly in her place.
“I am certainly not a Pornographer, I am a studier, an artist, and a sculptor of the female genitalia, otherwise known as the Cunt.”
Indeed.
The message to everyone out there is don’t be dull, use you local pub if you have one, you just don’t know who you might meet, even if it is highly unlikely you will come across a Cunt sculptor. What a great start to the New Year!!!
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