Why Is There So Much To Football I Hate??

Posted on May 19, 2010

Bit of a blog delay here, I have been away on a short, but lovely break in the Herefordshire Countryside, it was a cracking weekend with great company, great food, and great wine.

However this didn’t stop me watching two live football matches over the weekend, the first time I have done this in years, firstly the Cup Final on Saturday, then the Division One play off semi final on Monday night.

I used to love football, and I still believe that a thrilling game of football is more exciting than any other sport, the tribal instinct that comes out of players and fans in games such as the Germany v England World Cup Semi Final in 1990 cannot be matched by anything else in my opinion. England’s 2005 Ashes series victory, and the last gasp win against Australia in the 2003 Rugby World Cup were epic sporting occasions, but nothing touches football for the intensity of the rivalry, so what a shame it is that it is packed full of utter pricks at all levels.

From Lord Triesman claiming that Jonny Foreigner (Spain and Russia) is about to bribe Refs at the 2010 World Cup, to gum chewing snarling dictator Alex Ferguson, right through to badge kissing players, and fat fans crying for the Sky cameras after relegation, there is so much to hate about football.

Chelsea are top of my hate list, they have so many players that are just peasants who have come in to cash, they snarl, they rip their shirts off and puff their waxed chests out, they kiss their club badge whilst refusing to sign a new contract unless there is another 30k a week on the table, and yet there is still something far worse than any of this. PRETENDING TO ROCK A BABY AS A GOAL CELEBRATION FOR A WAG WHO HAS JUST GIVEN BIRTH AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGHHHH!!! The first act of the new parliament should have been to introduce the public flogging of footballers who carry out this sickening act.

Some people would say that I am just jealous of the riches and celebrity these cunts (I am sorry I can’t just call them buggers) enjoy, but if that was the case why am I not jealous of Paul Scholes or Ryan Giggs for example? One presumes they are mega rich, but their conduct is a breath of fresh air to the rest. Roy Hodgson the Manager of Fulham is another example, you just can’t dislike him or his team. He is a strange loveable character talking like Harold Steptoe, and actually looking like someone from an early 1970’s Michael Caine film like the Italian job. Maybe it is an Ashes to Ashes remake; “My name is Roy Hodgson. In 1972 I was hit by a car, and now I am a manager of a Football club in 2010, is it a dream, or am I dead, and if I am alive, how do I get away from this fucking nonsense and back to my normal life.”
Imagine if next season started and Hodgson had just disappeared like he had never been there!

Hodgson: Time travel Ashes to Ashes style?

I am just not excited about the World Cup like I have been in the past, but I guess I will get more in to it as it approaches, and maybe in between the diving, the cheating, and the exaggerated commentary whenever Christiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi touch the ball, we might get some exciting football.

It is just a relief that John Terry has been stripped of the captaincy of England, it would be hard to feel pleased for him if a limited England side pulled out all the stops and won the World Cup in South Africa. I just can’t like the guy, or any of his Chelsea team mates. Part of me would rather see us not win it just to avoid the pain of seeing a pratt like of him parading around Trafalgar Square covered in tickertape.

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