Corruption Transfer Gossip

Posted on May 28, 2015

HSBC Switzerland are monitoring the progress of FIFA’s Sepp Blatter as they look to bolster their global corruption squad for the new financial year.

Rumour has it that Blatter is unsettled at FIFA and sources close to him have revealed that he may not be averse to a summer move in what could be a lucrative deal back to his native Switzerland.

HSBC, who have been fighting allegations of willingly providing accounts to customers involved in Kenya’s biggest corruption case, blood diamond trading, and corrupt military sales, would be the ideal fit for Blatter, who has proved over the years that he has the assets to compete at the highest level of the corruption game.

New HSBC Director of Corruption, Sir Dr Professor Harold Rednapp, refused to be drawn on whether the HSBC have been in negotiations with Blatter’s agent, Jack Warner, but he did not hide his admiration.

“I like the boy…he has great pedigree at this level and a twiffic engine…he has nothing to prove. You name a country, Russia, Qatar, South Africa, Brazil… the lad has been caught up allegations in all those places and I couldn’t think of anyone I would like more at HSBC,  but it’s purely speculation Jeff,” said Redknapp


How About Blatt Then? HSBC are Admirers of Sepp Blatter

Because of Blatter’s current position at FIFA, the HSBC in Switzerland will be eyeing the potential of a free transfer, with the only payments being made going to Warner, in the form of a new house, swimming pool and private jet.

It may well be that the lure of overseeing corruption in his native land is too strong to resist, but Blatter does have other admirers, including King Amongo Unwanko, Director of the Nigerian fraud letter writing giant,

“We would love to have Sepp here…although writing letters to British pensioners to scam money from them might not be a big enough challenge…however, if we do make a bid you will be the first to know. Just send me your bank account, sort code, mother’s maiden name along with the name of your first pet and I will let you know any developments upon receipt of your email,”  said Unwankwo

FIFA have already begun the process of seeking a replacement but have ruled out a move for former Cricket 20/20 Bankroller, Alan Stanford, who is three years in to a 110 years prison sentence for fraud.

“Stanford was the right fit for us, but the unfortunate timing of the prison sentence has made it difficult for us to make a move and I guess the timing was just wrong,” said a FIFA Insider.

Despite obvious interest from the HSBC, FIFA may be reluctant to let Blatter go without a suitable replacement and with the FBI investigating so many ideal candidates, former RBS Chief, Fred Goodwin, may well find himself emerging as an ideal candidate.

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