FIFA Executive Allegedly Caught in Non-Corruption Scandal

Posted on November 13, 2015

A junior FIFA executive has allegedly been accused of failing to accept bribes to influence the World Cup bidding process for the forthcoming 2018 and 2022 tournaments in Russia and Qatar.

The executive who has not yet been named for legal reasons, is alleged to have turned down a six figure sum to influence hotel accommodation in the South Africa 2010 World Cup as well as rejecting a gold watch that was offered as a gift by a mystery Eastern European diplomat driving a black Mercedes.

Further allegations show that investigations into bank payments and email accounts have shown no dubious transactions of money from Cayman Island bank accounts and as yet, worried FIFA internal investigators are unable to uncover payments to the individual that may have covered the cost for 5 star hotels and exclusive lap dancing clubs


Alleged Non-Corruption Scandal: FIFA executives failed to take bribes

A source who claims to be close to Jack Warner and Sepp Blatter, has revealed how the allegations of non-corruption have rocked FIFA to its foundations and rumours are now circulating that there may be others within the organisation who haven’t taken sexual or financial incentives in exchange for bidding votes.

“These allegations, if true, are a huge concern, as this individual would have been fully aware that bungs are common practice in FIFA and it is an unwritten contractual responsibility to take them”, said the source. 

“There is a strict code of conduct regarding the bidding process and it is up to our employees to extract as much cash from candidate countries as possible before handing it to the FIFA financial department for the deduction of Blatter tax.”

Unconfirmed reports have emerged that the unknown executive is currently residing at a hospital in Moscow where he is recovering from shattered kneecaps after what has been described as an ‘unfortunate fall’ when he allegedly attended a ‘behind closed doors’ FIFA disciplinary meeting in a disused multi-storey car park.

Blatter, who is allegedly undergoing treatment for feigning a stress-related illness, was unavailable for comment last night but the above source has gained a FIFA statement to be released to the press and existing employees…allegedly.

FIFA ensures that all employees are fully inducted into the process of taking illegal payments and it is a statutory requirement within our organisation to adhere to the procedure of extracting as many financial incentives as possible during the bidding process.”

Since Mr Blatter took charge of our organisation, we have taken great pride in the fact that every World Cup bid has been corrupted by those nations with the deepest pockets.”

“The recent successful Qatar bid is an example of out and out fiscal manipulation that is the envy of other corrupt bodies such as the IOC and it is, as always, our intention to remain the world leaders in rogue bidding.”

“Any employee not adhering to FIFA policy will bundled in to the back of black Range Rover and dealt with accordingly.”

Michel Platini was unavailable for comment…allegedly.




No Replies to "FIFA Executive Allegedly Caught in Non-Corruption Scandal"

    Got something to say?

    Some html is OK

    This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.