Adele Back in the Studio For 2016 Album!
Posted on December 8, 2015
Sources close to superstar singer/songwriter Adele, have confirmed she is in the studio putting the finishing touches on a new concept album to be released in 2016.
Adele is looking to capitalise on the success of her recent album, 25, that has already sold millions of copies to faddists from all over the globe who bought the album just because everyone else did.
The new album, thought to be called Farts, involves Adele sampling different cocktails of food and drink in a daring set of bowel experiments where she has attempted to emanate ten different sounds from her anus.
“The album is more or less complete and I can assure you that Adele really has some interesting farts up her sleeve…or should I say anus”, said the source mischievously.
“Adele loves experimenting…she has been working with all sorts of different food and drink including, Guinness, chick peas, espresso coffee, chicken madras, prunes, and sausages from a roadside cafe.”
The unconfirmed track listing is as follows:
1 Quack (1 Sec)
2 Farmyard Tractor (7 secs)
3 Madras Follow Through (12 secs)
4 Pant Stainer-feat chickpeas and Guinness (4 seconds)
5 Open the Creaking Door (5 secs)
6 Silence with Violence (7 secs)
7 Leather Seat Shuffle (3 secs)
8 Vintage Steam Train (9 secs)
9 Trombone Alarm (8 secs)
10 Sprouts and Christmas Pudding (3 secs)
Pant Stainer feat. Chickpeas & Guinness
The making of the album was not without its complexities with tracks such as Pant Stainer and Madras Follow Through proving difficult to record as Adele would, out of instinct, make a dash to the lavatory.
“Sometimes it got ridiculous”, said a source from the Abbey Road recording studio. “On one recording of Pant Stainer we thought we had got it just right but when we played it back all you could hear was Adele kicking down the toilet door and shouting expletives, it was hilarious.”
The album could be out as early as March and Adele is hoping to release her festive fart, Sprouts and Christmas Pudding, in time to challenge the obligatory X Factor number one which, with some irony, will be shit.
It is thought that by releasing the Farts album, Adele will finally be able to dispel the ongoing myth amongst her most ardent fans, that her stools smell of roses.