Right, before I get wave after wave of my adoring blog fans (particularly my Dad) pointing it out, I know this blog is going to be littered with missing words, spoiling misteaks and bad grandma because I am in a hurry, having just packed my bag and found my passport for my brief sortie down to the Costa Del Sol with old and dear friends Paul Baverstock and Pete Holcroft.
The decision was made on the this trip back on about pint number five ...
In a bid to break up the tedium of midweek without going to the pub, the other night I meandered down to the East Stratton village hall to listen to a talk on the history of Britain's canals and in particular the Basingstoke canal. Unfortunately the speaker had a heart attack and rather selfishly had to pull out, opting to have a quadruple heart bypass instead; it is extraordinary the lengths people will go to avoid fulfilling their commitments ...
One of the advantages of being the youngest of five children is that I assumed from an early age Jimmy Saville was a pervert. Because of the power and influence my elder Brothers had over me, I had no desire whatsoever to spend an afternoon meeting the England football team whilst a BBC producer fixed it for Jim to put his hands down my 1970's nylon Y Fronts. My brother's, Bruce and Graham, like all elder brothers, could be right bastards ...
Well, just a day after turning over a new chapter in my life where I operate with foresight rather than hindsight, I have failed once again. In a bit of a dash to get the boys to their respective schools and colleges on Thursday morning I threw on a creased shirt a pair of grubby old bottoms and Harry's plimsolls that look good on a fourteen year old but quite frankly, fucking ridiculous on a bald bloke one month shy of his 45th Birthday. I ...
I was driving out of my close on Monday evening when I saw a hedgehog and its offspring desperately buffering up against the kerb in an attempt to get on the path to safety. Like a true hero, I got out of my car and lifted them all to their safety and they scurried off to carry on their business which presumably involves hogging hedges. I couldn't help thinking that with better foresight the hedgehog would have seen this problem coming and taken ...