One of the great things about leaving the EU is that we will be able to get our sovereign beaches back from unelected bureaucrats who hate Britain.

Right up until 1998, our brave boys fought hard against EU regulation on cleaner beaches, showing true Dunkirk spirit as we battled to save our sovereign right to pollute our shores with turds, industrial paint, oil and various acids.

When a cleaner water policy (Bathing water Directive) was set by the EU in 1976, our corporate heroes, backed by successive governments, fought with Churchillian spirit to keep our beaches filthy.

It was a fierce battle that lasted fully 22 years, way longer than those cowardly frogs, spiks and wops, who insisted on denying us control of how many turds, needles and condoms we could flush on to our beaches.

Brighton in the good old days before unelected EU red taped bureaucracy

However, the EU won in the end and sadly, today, as I write, over 60% of our beaches meet a standard of “Excellent” on the revised ‘2006 Bathing Water Directive’ that was set by red taped, unelected bureaucrats who even want to tell us how straight our bananas should be.

99% of beaches are now deemed as safe to bathe (as opposed to less than half before the directive) as the red taped bastards in the EU forced water companies to invest profits into cleaner beaches, rather than paying out shareholders with huge dividends.

Sickeningly, since this bueractractic, unelected directive was enforced, the seaside tourism industry has risen to an annual worth of 3.6 billion and supports 210,000 jobs in England and Wales alone.

Europrats at Work: Clean beach misery in Cornwall

Our sovereign right to catch hepatitis on a day trip to West Wittering has all but gone and the sickening pictures of sparkling beaches from Land’s End to John O’Groats tell you everything you want to know about these unelected bureaucrats who like red tape very much.

Here is the good news. As soon as we leave the EU and their red taped bureaucracy, we will have the right to ruin our beaches again as we will no longer be driven by the unelected, bureaucratic, red taped ‘Bathing Water Directive’.

And the good news about no more shackling and bureaucratic red tape doesn’t stop there either.

With a full ‘No Deal’ Brexit a real and exciting prospect, workers concerned by the actions of polluters will almost certainly have less employment rights, so our brave bosses like Mike Ashley will just be able to sack them if they dare speak out. This is because they will no longer be shackled by bureaucratic unelected and unpatriotic red tape that traitors want them to adhere to.

Some Bureaucratic Red Tape yesterday

Hopefully, when the day comes when I have grandchildren, all the bureaucratic red tape will be gone and we will have our beaches back. Then, with true patriotism, in the shadow of an unfinished Chinese Nuclear Power station, I can watch them joyfully swallow a fresh turd before paying for their treatment at a hospital owned by the Dallas Cowboys.

Getting our beaches back is just another good news story as we release ourselves from red taped, europrat, bureaucrats and crush the unpatriotic traitors who thought leaving the European Union might not have been our finest hour.

Well, now they can sit down, shut up, get on with it and stop being remoaning traitors.

Stick that up your Juncker, Claude!!!