I have spent the last few days deliberating over whether to write a blog on this subject, because the people involved have done me no harm whatsoever, and appear as far as I can see, to be decent enough people, him annoyingly handsome, her naturally beautiful.

However, every time I see this advert my spine tingles more than the last, and my desire for the sick bowl becomes more urgent. I am sorry Jamie and Louise Redknapp, but your advert for Thomas Cook Holidays (Click here and reach for your sick bucket) is the most vomit inducing thing I have seen on my screen since Shakin Stevens performed “Rockin good Way” with Bonnie Tyler (Click here and get the bucket fucking quick!!)

What words can sum this advert up? If you were to do a brain storming session with a blank blackboard it would soon fill up with words such as, nauseating, twee, smug, stomach turning, and why the fuck would he play football on the beach in a suit and bare footed golf with just jeans on? Presumably ‘Arry and Shirl were looking after the kids because they are nowhere to be seen on this pompous, preposterous, ostentatious piece of shit.

I’m sorry, I am a cynical, miserable bastard but I just had to get that off my chest, I couldn’t take it any longer. No matter how much it bolstered the Redknapp bank account, they will regret it for years to come. They need to sack their agent over that, as no one with a right mind will ever take them seriously again.

For fucks sake what the world coming to, the next thing you know the Northern Ireland Secretaries wife will be lending £200k to a 19 year old lover to open a restaurant!!!