After the recent debate on C4 featuring would be chancellors Vince Cable, Alistair Darling and George Osborne ended in political stalemate, part leaders David Cameron, Gordon Brown, and Nick Clegg have agreed to a live TV Dance Off On Ice in a last gasp attempt to sway the vote of the Great British public in their favour
Clegg: “Stuck in The Middle With You”
The prospective leaders will be asked to show their skills with two dances one classic, one contemporary, whilst Torvill and Dean will make up the judging panel. Clegg is to perform Swan Lake and Stuck in The Middle With You, Brown will skate to Madame Butterfly and The Only Way Is Up, whilst Cameron will attempt to thrill the audience with The Bolero and Cliff Richard’s Living Doll.
Peoples Man: Cameron gets tough with “Living Doll”
PR Guru and well known dickhead Max Clifford came up with the idea for the show, and it is strongly believed that the public, who are easily swayed by headlines in a comic that is produced by a megalomaniac Australian, will have no qualms devouring this pile of old shit, and will rush to the polling stations come May 6th.
Brown: The Only Way Is Up
Cameron hilariously upped the stakes yesterday by claiming: “The only thing I fear is Gordon’s Upright Spin, because as we know, the Labour party are all spin, spin, spin, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha….hopefully with only one eye……ha ha…… he wont be able to see where he is going.”
Brown fought back quickly saying: “Duncan will be an expert at the Downward Spiral, because that is what a Tory Government will bring to this country, a cut in public spending which will result in a Downward Spiral which will halt our recovery and will leave the people of this great nation on….on…..on….erm….thin ice….. ha ha ha!!!”
Nick Clegg did say a few things, but no one really knew who he was, and didn’t take much interest.
The public will be asked to phone vote during and after the show, all calls will cost £4.50 a minute and will go straight to the MP’s expenses trough.