What is a Nominative Determinism?

Posted on March 25, 2015

My friend Darren posted something on Facebook yesterday that was asking whether the fact that David Beckham was born at Whipps Cross Hospital was an example of a nominative determinism. For those of you on the planet Zark, David Beckham, in between silly haircuts and marrying a pouting, poor excuse for a pop singer, was once a footballer who was renowned for his ability to whip in crosses for his grateful team-mates playing for England, ...

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Meeting with a Bulgarian Car Cleaner!

Posted on March 21, 2015

I went to Sainsbury’s yesterday to buy a few bits and pieces for the weekend and of course, to satisfy my occasional forty-something lust for feeling incandescent with rage at paying £14:00 for eight Gillette razor refills. When I got to the car park, I was approached by an Eastern European chap who was, despite the unseasonably cold and biting easterly wind, willing to wash, polish and wax my car for £10:00. I looked at my car and ...

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Clarkson – The People’s Bully

Posted on March 12, 2015

If you were to meet Jeremy Clarkson in a pub and happened to challenge him on something like, let’s say for example, the Environment, his response would be to put his fingers in his ears and shout; “BLAH, BLAH…NOT LISTENING…NOT INTERESTED…GO AWAY YOU GUARDIAN READING, HOMOSEXUAL, VEGETARIAN, FOX LOVER!" His friends would guffaw at you as you shrunk in front of them and you would be left to wonder why you opened your mouth only to ...

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The Turgid and Miserable State of English Sport!

Posted on March 10, 2015

What is it with English team sport and its miserable, turgid, statistical obsession that leaves it lying in a pile of data sheets as the rest of the world enjoys major sporting events like the festival of entertainment they are supposed to be? For years, we have witnessed English football teams scrambling their way into major tournaments only to turn up with surly faces, multitudes of psychologists, dieticians and managers who talk about ...

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Pass the Dutchie on the Left Hand Side

Posted on March 5, 2015

When I occasionally drop Harry into college during the week, we make a compromise between Radio 4 (me) and Heart FM (him) and listen to Chris Evans on Radio 2. At just after 8:30 he (Chris Evans) does a thing where he plays an old song, followed by another and you are invited to have a guess as to whether the release of the latter song is a higher or lower year than the first. Being a fountain of any knowledge that is effectively ...

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