My latest attempt to play cricket predictably failed under cloudy skies at Oakley yesterday, once again ending in disappointment, with five runs scored in an innings that if it was described as a piss poor effort, I would take it as lavish but unwarranted compliment. With a cricket bat in my hand but without a cricket ball coming towards me, I can mimic all number of exquisite shots in my living room, but come the real deal, I am only ...
I have being doing some telesales this week, cold calling for new business, I have to do this because there is no real sign of a commercial recovery as the public sector that served me so well continues to shrink. Cold calling is an art that only a few select people can perfect with great skill as it takes persistence, resilience and skin as thick as a pebble dashed rhino (you can add the attribute of being a total cunt with regards to ...
The rain backed off for a couple of days this weekend meaning I could lead the Oakley men's Sunday XI in to combat for the first time this season against the might of Farleigh Wallop. To be nominated as the captain of a cricket team at the age of 44 is a proud moment, even if you do take in to account that there were no other candidates for the position. I can officially make a promise to anyone thinking about taking on a task of this magnitude, ...
I registered my monthly tax payment to the Inland Revenue a day late last month and got a patronising letter yesterday for my trouble. As Diane Porter, Brian Keane and Karen Langer will recall (or perhaps not) we got stupidly pissed on Diane's birthday on Wednesday 18th of April and when I tried to do the monthly calculation the next day, such was the extent of my hangover, I came up with a different figure every time my shaking hands touched ...
Since living on my own during the last four years or so, I have found that the Holy Grail in my life is the discovery of a vacuum cleaner that actually carries out the task its elaborate brand name gives it. Of course, I know as well as anyone that the simple solution to vacuum cleaning is to go out and spend over three hundred pounds on a Dyson, but because I live in a modest two bedroom house, it would feel a bit like buying a Ferrari and ...